BLACK CLOUD COFFEE CO. – LAW ENFORCEMENT EDITION (Gourmet Donut Shop)

Black cloud. Black coffee. And you just got voluntold again.

(A light-medium roast coffee blend featuring coffees with tasting notes that include cocoa, caramel, toffee and mild fruits. A perfectly balanced morning coffee that offers a stronger flavor when compared to the lighter breakfast blends.)

“Black cloud. Black coffee. And you just got voluntold again.”

You didn’t choose the Black Cloud Life.

It showed up mid-pursuit, stole your lunch from the break room fridge, and left you with a paper cut from a Use of Force report.

This is for the ones who just cleared a 487 (grand theft), got flagged for a welfare check on a mannequin, and then had to argue with a city councilman’s nephew about “parking enforcement priorities.”

Your backup’s still en route, your rookie forgot the tablet and the camera, and your boots are soggy from chasing a shirtless suspect through a duck pond.

Black Cloud Coffee Co. – LEO Edition:

Unfiltered, unhinged, and just caffeinated enough to survive the shift.

Pairs Well With:

Reports written in the dark on a center console with zero lumbar support

Ankle-deep crime scenes in “nice parts of town”

That moment when dispatch says, “Be advised, it's escalating”

Speeding ticket arguments that start with “I know my rights” and end with “...and my TikTok followers”

Being told to “do more with less” while using a cruiser from 2007

💥 Tastes Like:

Overtime, sarcasm, and yesterday’s breath mints

That suspicious thermos your sergeant left behind

An IA interview and gas station sushi

Espresso and shattered optimism

 Made for LEOs Who:

Can ID stolen plates at a glance but forget where they parked

Have been outtalked by a 9-year-old with Google

Carry six pens but none that work

Knew it was going to be a long night when the radio said “Start another unit”

Got screamed at for “not doing enough” while literally wearing blood

✅ Shift Rating Card™

Check all that apply:

☐ 10-851 (Stolen Vehicle) ditched in a playground mulch pit

☐ Dispatch said "routine" — it wasn’t

☐ Body cam captured you slipping on a hot dog

☐ Made contact with “the mayor” (he was not the mayor)

☐ Caught the end of shift case and still haven’t seen your bed

⚠️ WARNING LABEL:

WARNING:

Consumption may result in increased tolerance to BS, long rants about pension reform, and sudden flashbacks to field training trauma.

Not for use during mandatory debriefs or in the presence of auditors.

📱 TAG YOUR BLACK CLOUD SHIFT

Did your suspect disappear and your squad car start overheating?

Was your only backup a CSO with a limp and a can of expired OC spray?

📸 Snap it

✅ Check your Shift Rating Card™

💀 Tag it: #BlackCloudShift

Bonus points if your call started as a noise complaint and ended with you herding goats down Main Street.